Transitions

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As a writer, I think a lot about transitions. When I’m working on a story or article, I want things to flow smoothly from one scene or idea to the next, always trying to make the ride less bumpy for my readers. But transitions in life aren’t always so smooth.

Last week, my father passed away, just two days before his 77^th birthday. We had been planning a big party for him with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Instead, we laid him to rest four days later, on my birthday.

It’s hard to believe he’s really gone. Perhaps I’m still a bit numb. But I’m grateful that I’m surrounded by a loving family, and through us, his legacy will live on.

I am wishing you all a new year of smooth transitions, in writing and in life.

Freight

Our life experiences influence us every day, as do the experiences of those close to us. Some call this baggage. In his new novel, author Mel Bosworth calls it Freight

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As writers, it’s likely that some of our freight makes it onto the page. And it should. It’s meaningful stuff and readers can relate because they live these real lives too. French author Marcel Proust said: “We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full.” Perhaps part of that process is writing about it.

Mel Bosworth's novel is a small book about the big things we all carry around inside of us. “This unflinching, quirky novel follows a flawed yet lovable everyman as he searches for Home. We never learn his name. Nor do we learn her name – the woman whose freight is still too much for him to carry. But we know he likes soft things. We know he works through pain. We know his childhood still clings to him, despite his graying hair. And through knowing him and all his freight, ours is easier to bear.” (From the back cover.)

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There is something freeing about finding the right words to carry our burdens onto the page. When we get the words right, they take some of the weight from our shoulders. Again, from the book: “At some point we become a bulging hose or a screaming faucet. We stand in the yard or we hunch at the sink and we have to turn the spigot. . .we become the water, spilling all over the place, and into ourselves. It’s the release we crave, the release we need so we can make more room inside ourselves. . .”

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When I read a story where the characters go through something that I’ve been through, it helps me to feel less alone. There’s a Bible verse that sticks in my head, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galations 6:2) Perhaps God has given us the gift of writing as a means of sharing our burdens, and in the process, lightening the burdens of others. On a planet where more than seven billion people inhabit less than 2% of the Earth’s surface, there’s no reason why anyone should have to feel alone. Maybe we just need to open up more, and share our freight.


Do you put your freight onto the page?

Fictional Distraction

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I hope you all had a very happy Thanksgiving! I had intended to post yesterday, but the day got away from me. Today, if you're looking for a little fictional distraction from the sales and the crowds, I hope you'll visit Every Day Fiction and read my story "Dinner Plans" (And consider joining the lively discussion in the comments section.)

Also, if you'd like a chance to win two books by Holly Black, my daughter is hosting her first giveaway over at Born Bookish.

Until next time, I hope you find lots of great Black Friday bargains and enjoy plenty of delicious turkey leftovers!

Going Through the Motions

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Do you ever feel the hours slipping away? Hear the days whooshing past you as one rushes into the next? Feel the years slipping through your fingers like water? Sometimes it’s hard to get a hold on things and it feels like I’m just going through the motions, meeting my obligations, checking off my responsibilities on some huge check list. In the quest to get things done, it’s easy to lose sight of the meaning behind the task or the joy that’s to be found in the journey.

This week our oldest daughter bought a house. I’m proud of her for being so focused, hard working and determined. And although the first thing friends and family say when I tell them her news is “Are you sad?” I feel like we’ve really made the most of our time together over the years.  I know I’ll miss her terribly when she moves out, but right now I’m caught up in her excitement. And I’m thinking that’s just the way it should be.

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It’s easy to get caught up in the big picture: dreams, goals, and wishes of “someday.” For writers it’s easy to focus on getting published, landing an agent, or finishing that book. The struggle is not to forget how much potential each day holds on its own, as we travel in the direction of those goals. 

I just started reading Hope Will Find You, My Search for the Wisdom to Stop Waiting and Start Living by Naomi Levy. In it, the author addresses how common it is to get stuck in holding patterns as we wait for life to begin: when we get that house, that contract, that new car. “The reality is, every life just as it is right now has its own unique power and lesson to teach. Every day has its story. Every dream holds a lesson.”

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I know there are big changes ahead in the upcoming months, so my goal for right now is to enjoy every moment, to hold onto the days and to make sure I don’t just go through the motions. Today is exciting, rewarding, full of hope and opportunity. I’ll worry about tomorrow when it gets here.

Do you ever have to remind yourself to make the most of each day?

Measured Steps

     

This week I thought a lot about measured steps, progress, forward motion. Most likely because it’s November and oodles of my online friends (and several real life friends) are NaNo-ing. (I am not.) With so many people focusing an entire month on meeting word counts each day, it got me thinking of production output. For some, the NaNoWriMo challenge sparks creativity. For me it does the opposite. I get to feeling like a machine – spitting out a set number of words in a day, a week, a month, but losing the enjoyment of it in the process.

I am a slow writer. Ideas need to simmer in my subconscious before I can work them out on the page. If we’re measuring, maybe that means less rewrites later on, or maybe not. Who knows? In any case, that’s the way my brain works.

I’m all for setting goals, but for me, what works are goals that exist in the background. They keep me motivated to stretch myself and see what I’m capable of, but they aren’t burdensome.

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I spoke a few months ago about a book I was reading called The Art of Possibility, in which the authors propose that our focus doesn’t have to be on measured steps. It can be about embracing the fact that we are active participants – in life, in writing, in whatever.

                 

I love this quote from the book: “The life force for humankind is, perhaps, nothing more or less than the passionate energy to connect, express, and communicate. Enrollment is that life force at work, lighting sparks from person to person, scattering light in all directions. Sometimes the sparks ignite a blaze; sometimes they pass quietly, magically, almost imperceptibly, from one to another to another.”

Whether you find that spark through NaNoWriMo this month, through the friends you connect with via blogging, or any of a million other possible ways, I hope you find that passionate energy that keeps you going.                              

What is the spark that motivates you?

Exceeding Your Limits

This week I exceeded my limit for social outings that I can comfortably handle. By the time Thursday approached, I wanted nothing more than to hole up in my house until Monday and write, clean, read, cook – anything that wouldn’t involve making conversation with real live people. Then I got a phone call –a last minute invitation to dinner that I just couldn’t refuse. But something unexpected happened. I enjoyed myself. Socializing didn’t feel like work and by the time we left, I felt invigorated, and even went to my writing group after dropping my husband off at home. I inwardly acknowledged that I was making strides towards my goal of becoming more social.

 But even so, by the time Friday afternoon came, I was feeling taxed by even my normal responsibilities. When I finally got home, I closed myself in the bathroom and cried, followed by a quick fix of chocolate and then – I sat down and visited some of my favorite blogs. I know, I know, this is a form of socializing. But it’s one that I actually enjoy, and it even soothed me to be around others who understand what it’s like to favor words on a page.

So, no, I haven’t given up on socializing, even the old-fashioned, face-to-face version. But I have learned that I need to take it slow. We all have our limits.

What limits have you done battle with lately?

Voices of a Love/Hate Relationship

When my children were small, the only time we listened to the radio was when we rode in the car, so I always had command of the controls. My goal was to teach them to be discerning listeners, explaining why I flipped the station each time something inappropriate came over the airwaves. I was guiding them, providing a voice for them, until they began to hear and listen to their own inner voices.

As a writer, I often have a love/hate relationship with voices. I love when the muse whispers to me. I love when my characters seem to write themselves onto my heart, demanding that I put them down on the page. But then there are the voices that tell me I’m not good enough, I’m delusional to think I could ever really do this. That’s the hate part of the equation. But in the end, we all choose who we listen to, don’t we?

I’m thinking about voices a lot this week as I return to my WIP after an eight-week cooling period. In an article I read by Writer’s Digest’s Brian Klems, he shares The Geyser 5-Step Approach to Revision. Step Two he calls Invite the Flow to Return. This was a perfect reminder to me that revisions are not just about addressing the technical issues. It’s about recapturing the feeling you had when you were writing, and letting your characters talk to you again.

In honor of characters who speak to us, I’m sharing on of my favorite songs: Voices.  Enjoy!

Do you have a love/hate relationship with voices? How do you decide which voice to listen to?


Speaking of voices, I’m trying out my reviewer’s voice this week. My daughter, Amanda, invited me to share a book review over on her blog, Born Bookish I hope you’ll check it out!